Posted in Being Happy, Challenges, Currently..., For me, My Life, My Little Flaws, Updates

Dyslexia and I

It’s always been very clear to anyone who has had the pleasure (?) of seeing my spelling, that I enevatlbiy can’t spell for the life if me. This has been the one constant with me, the fact I can’t spell normal, useful words but can spell mississippi and other words that never come up. 

It’s only recently the label ‘dyslexic’ has been added to my name and although they may only be tendencies it’s nice to have a reason for my incapabilities in areas. With this I feel as though how hard I find things is taken seriously because a diagnosis has been found. Although the sad part is when people went to help me, they leave and so I have to find another way around this obstacle. 

During my research and small experience in this intresting department of learning disabilities I have found that for many it’s different for different areas and effects peoples brainz differently. For me it takes time to process stuff which explains many things, why I find mental maths very hard; why it takes me so long to figure out my wording and knowing how to answer questions; perhaps why I make stupid word choices. 

In my dulge I into the dyslexic community I found out that many people go into creative areas, mainly architecture. Surprisingly this is what I want to do, something that I wanted to do before some of these problems occurred. 

I know that nothing has changed since this time last year, the only thing that has I’d that I’m working harder this has only motivated me more and letting it get in my way is not gonna get me where I want to be. 

I may just have to try harder. And if that’s what it takes, so be it. 

Posted in Being Happy, Currently..., For me, My Life, My Little Flaws, Thank You, Updates

Things I’ve Learnt About Friends

 

This academic year, mainly towards the end of 2016, I haven’t made new friends as such, just made the friendships i had previously exist again.

There has only ever been a few people in my life which I have called a ‘best friend’ and meant it, felt that it could last, and they have lasted (sorta). The three years of secondary school taught me A LOT, mainly about friends, what they are, who they are. In the first two years i made one of my circles (this is what I see my friends of people as, different groups that don’t really mix but do, if that made any sense).

The circle from then, I still have now. They are amazing and funny and… well, strange, but I love them, although we never go deep into how we are feeling we make each other feel like nothing matters besides what ever we are laughing at. Behind this metaphorical circle there are some more people how entered are little group this year, and now we are like a massive mob of stupid teenagers.

Sadly the last year of secondary I lost touch with them, as sad as it was I think its made us closer now and I missed them a lot that year, i didn’t realise it until i had them back and how un-joyous life was without them. Also in this depressing year I made a few, well one friendship and at that time it was just a ‘we hang around and talk a lot’ friendship but after an event this current academic year we suddenly got back to where we were and became better friends all round. To me that person is another circle, but ever so slightly more because we have a different kind of friendship, something I don’t have with other people and that person means the world to me, as all of them do.

Between now and then I’ve made so many more better friends, some new, some old but either way they all mean a hell of a lot to me and with out each one of them, I would be so miserable.

So to all of you, you’re amazing, thank you for sticking up with me and all sides i have. I love you all a lot!

Posted in Being Happy, Challenges, Currently..., My Little Flaws, Things to do

Document 7 – Blank

A blank page sits in front, the mouse flickering, panicking, just like the head inside of me. The white screen glaring, as empty as my ideas. I cannot leave it, as that is just not who I used to be, my effort will be mistaken, my grade will be lower than the size of my shoes. I hope the title counts as something because I have nothing, there would probably be more than this is if it wasn’t my 7th attempt.

Those that will see this just won’t understand that my head never makes sense, I can only answer when put on the correct tracks because currently I’m heading to Hull, when i’m pretty sure that Cardiff is where I’m meant to be. They won’t understand that I’m so much more than this, because this is what i’m being judged on my, my paragraphs and not my words, I can say it if you want, but for me to put on paper, i’m afraid that’s something i’ll always be far from.

Posted in Being Happy, Challenges, Currently..., For me, Let this talk, My Life, My Little Flaws

I Can’t Write

I can’t write.

Give me a pen and some paper and I could write till my emotions run dry, it’ll come out with blank vocabulary and scribbled sentences but at least there would be something.

Give me a pen and some paper but through some limitations into the mix, rules, guidelines and things I must include, It’ll come out the same way it came in, blank, plain, lifeless with maybe a scribbled out sentence, on a good day maybe. You give me the lines expecting me to colour them, but don’t be hopefully the colours will be all wrong, orange instead of magenta and black instead of green.

I try my best, I promise you that but that never seems to be good enough, among the best of the best my words don’t come flowing out of my pen in a precise swirl of incredable words, just a blotched piece of trash in a pile of A* with a tear mark on the side…

Posted in Being Happy, My Life, My Little Flaws, Things to do

Better people

I choose those who get chosen last.

I pick up and return dropped things to there homes.

I open doors as people walk past.

I smile at people.

I say hello to people in the streets.

I say thank you for everything.

I apologies for my mistakes.

I am friendly and polite to all.

I am not afraid to be me.

 

Maybe if we all did this, the world might be a happier place.

Just, maybe.

Posted in Being Happy, Let this talk, My Life, My Little Flaws, Words

The Cupboard Of Troubles

Everybody has a cupboard with something inside, whether it is home to holidays, social events or being in the spot light. We all have a cupboard of troubles, some bigger than others and some smaller than others, we all have a cupboard of worries.

Some of us have little people living in these cupboards, we call them anxieties.

These ‘little people’ come from different places; holidays, crowded places, strangers, public stages. These cupboards have to be open from time to time, not from chpoice but simply because once you push these ‘little people’ aside you might get something good out of the cupboard, and when what you pull out the cupboard is not what you would like then we tend to lock the cupboard.

Doors come open from time to time, and when that happens you are always left with two choices:

Close it.

Or

Leave it.

To close it means getting closer to it in order to shut the ‘little people’ away again and then deal with the ones that have escaped. Or you can leave it to figure itself out.

 

We all have cupboards some are housing ‘little people’. Sometimes they have to opened and sometimes they open them selves.

We all have cupboards inside our heads. Some are homes to ‘little people’.

 

*Bit of a change than usual but I enjoyed writing this.

Inspired by this weeks BBC theme of Mental Health: http://www.bbc.co.uk/search?q=Mental%20Health

See you soon,

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Posted in My Life, My Little Flaws, Updates

My Little Flaws

Hello again!

So I do very much apologise about the lack of posts and the rush-I-ness (???) about them as I have been a bit busy recently as I am redecorating me room soon so my room is a state with boxes and bits of rubbish everywhere and I have had a few tests and assessments as well as my mums birthday and her being a little ill and then I had parents evening and everything has been MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so I do apologise very much and so I hope to start putting more effort into my weekly Sunday posts and when I have time to post on Wednesdays and Thursday. So anyway I though I would talk about the things that make me, me as I was asked the question; ‘What makes you, you?’ and so why not make a blog post about the little things that make me, me and my little ‘flaws’ and just all the things that set me apart from people (?).  So lets go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Lemon Sucking

This one sounds very odd but I LOVE LEMONS! The other day I was cooking in school and I had a lemon and so I just sucked on it for a good solid hour. Everybody just called me a weirdo and but I didn’t care because it was that goooooddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Terribe Spellings!!!

I left that typo in as an example, you have probably more likely than not picked up on the fact that I really cant spell, and often spell check cant correct me!!!! Although, my English teacher is possible giving me a dyslexia test to see if that can explain my dodgy spellings and if not I am going to have to try and retrain my brain to notice my spellings so I will tell how that turns out.

Stubby Thumbs

My thumbs are like small, fat, wide lamp posts with a flat wide stubby nail and so I can’t really do anything with them apart from stretch gloves with them.

Obsessiveness

I have a bit of obsessive personality where I will become obsessed with something, sometimes its for a week or a few days others it can be months.

I Forget

I will forget a lot of things, I don’t think this needs a big explanation other than y short to long term memory is not that good from time to time.

That is another quick post, I know, I know but everything has been super hectic so I might just have t post every Sunday until my room is finished and life returns back to its usual state. So sorry, and I hope to see you next Sunday (with another bad post )

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!